Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
