Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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