I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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