dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
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He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
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I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
my liver is dry heaving
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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