how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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