Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
