Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
