Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
