Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
