they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
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