dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
