some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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