if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Randomize