There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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