my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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