I cockslap morals
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Enjoy the penises
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
