I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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