do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I touched a dick in church today
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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