I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
