R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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