i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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