Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
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She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
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I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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