Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize