Welp...herpes.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Randomize
