It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
