I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
