so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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