Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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