go do what you do best...puke behind churches
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
