eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
you inspire me to be a worse person
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
