"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
