Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You made out with two different species that night
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
