Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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