So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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