Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
