I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
