The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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