; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize