North Korea, Best Korea!
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
