apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
