do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
