So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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