zippers are such a cool invention
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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