She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Apparently you make a good broom.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
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