Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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