My room smells like vodka and shame
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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