He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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