thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
