Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
