Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
