so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
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How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
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I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more