Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards

(1-515): View more from Iowa

None

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(703): View more from Virginia

Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(513): View more from Ohio

He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep

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(469): View more from Texas

Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take

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(941): View more from Florida

Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.

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(425): View more from Washington

Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero

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(206): View more from Washington

The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up

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