I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
MIDGETS
????
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
