Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems