Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.

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(360): View more from Washington

Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?

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(662): View more from Mississippi

they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(502): View more from Kentucky

She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome

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(561): View more from Florida

Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.

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(907): View more from Alaska

why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?

(1-907): View more from Alaska

dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems

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