I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm too high and old for this...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
