My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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