but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
