I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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