Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Acid is not a monday night drug
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
