no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
